Yes, I had my first post-chemo ER visit last night. I was having some serious heart and bone pain. The bone pain is a difficult sensation to describe, but it feels as if someone was grinding and twisting my bones, with the pain radiating everywhere. The base of my spine and my hips were the most severe (and still are). My heart pain had been steadily escalating for the previous two days, as well.
By late evening, it was so bad that I couldn't walk or stand, and tears were springing to my eyes. The whole scene was actually so dramatic, it was comical. Picture it...
[Scene]
As Liz shuffles down the hall, the pain that has been twisting the structure of her body crescendos to a climax, halting her slow movements towards the living room. Her face crumples as her heart shudders and her bones feel like as if they're breaking. She falls forward just as her younger sister, Catherine, rushes towards her. Catherine later confesses that was listening to the pattern of her sister's footsteps to determine if Liz would be able to walk back unassisted. Catherine holds up her sister before she falls to the floor, watching helplessly as tears well up and trickle down Liz's cheeks.
Is this for real?
[Scene fades to black as Catherine rushes to alert Joe]
I went in for some blood work earlier in the morning, and my white blood cell count was at 0.9, which was low. Very low. The pharmacy called to say that I should continue with the Neupogen shots and to warn me to come to the ER if I started to get ill. My neutrophils were also low, at 300. But by the time I got to the ER that night, my white blood cell count was up to 1.5.
Joe's theory is that my escalating pain may have been caused by my bones working so hard to produce the white blood cells. It actually does make sense because the pain was so bad yesterday, when my counts were so low. Joe assessed that my heart pain might also be related to the bone pain because the EKG test they ran on my heart came out as normal (a very good thing, since one of the chemo drugs may lead to damage to the heart muscle). The sternum, which is close to the heart, is a very large bone and what I felt as heart pain might actually be the regeneration occurring in the bone.
The doctor recommended that I take some medication to help ease the pain and allow me to sleep. Those of you who know me will not be surprised to hear that I made implementing his recommendation difficult. I am not a huge fan of pain medication, as I feel it is a sign of weakness. Joe, however, was concerned that the pain will keep me from sleeping at night, a concern echoed by the ER physician. So, after some discussion, I reluctantly agreed to the hospital's administration of some Norco and Zofran.
There's always a silver lining to these situations, though. Did you know that the Zofran they provide at the hospital tastes like strawberry banana? It was so delicious. A couple months ago we brought Evan to the ER for vomiting and diarrhea, and they gave him delicious tasting Zofran then, as well. I suppose if you're going to take medication that enables you to eat, it might as well taste good, right?
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This is with just one! |
As I write, the pain persists and I can feel its drain on my energy. I don't know how long the pain will last, but the next 5 days are going to be pretty tough. Neupogen is not to be trifled with -- it is the cause and brunt of all this pain. There are websites dedicated to the side effects and pain of the Neupogen. At least I have my pints of ice cream, though. I have don't have much of an appetite for anything these days except for ice cream. Particularly butter pecan. And we all know that a pint a day will keep the pain at bay! That is how that phrase goes, isn't it?
You so crack me up! You're such a comedian! Never knew Zofran tasted so good! The irony! Hang in there; the pain is definitely not in vain.
ReplyDeleteGood news about the eggs! That's kind of cool, knowing the gender. Hmmm, the possibilities! :)
You're so strong! I love you and am thinking of you every minute (I only take a break from it when the kids are screaming in my ears and I can't think of anything!). We knew the pain would hit somehow! It sounds horrendous and if I could take some of it for you I would! Xoxox
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