Delicious tasting Zofran, anyone?

Has anyone noticed that they have the most delicious tasting Zofran in the ER?

Yes, I had my first post-chemo ER visit last night. I was having some serious heart and bone pain. The bone pain is a difficult sensation to describe, but it feels as if someone was grinding and twisting my bones, with the pain radiating everywhere. The base of my spine and my hips were the most severe (and still are).  My heart pain had been steadily escalating for the previous two days, as well.

By late evening, it was so bad that I couldn't walk or stand, and tears were springing to my eyes. The whole scene was actually so dramatic, it was comical. Picture it...

[Scene]

As Liz shuffles down the hall, the pain that has been twisting the structure of her body crescendos to a climax, halting her slow movements towards the living room. Her face crumples as her heart shudders and her bones feel like as if they're breaking. She falls forward just as her younger sister, Catherine, rushes towards her. Catherine later confesses that was listening to the pattern of her sister's footsteps to determine if Liz would be able to walk back unassisted. Catherine holds up her sister before she falls to the floor, watching helplessly as tears well up and trickle down Liz's cheeks.

Is this for real?


[Scene fades to black as Catherine rushes to alert Joe]

I went in for some blood work earlier in the morning, and my white blood cell count was at 0.9, which was low. Very low. The pharmacy called to say that I should continue with the Neupogen shots and to warn me to come to the ER if I started to get ill. My neutrophils were also low, at 300. But by the time I got to the ER that night, my white blood cell count was up to 1.5.

Joe's theory is that my escalating pain may have been caused by my bones working so hard to produce the white blood cells. It actually does make sense because the pain was so bad yesterday, when my counts were so low. Joe assessed that my heart pain might also be related to the bone pain because the EKG test they ran on my heart came out as normal (a very good thing, since one of the chemo drugs may lead to damage to the heart muscle). The sternum, which is close to the heart, is a very large bone and what I felt as heart pain might actually be the regeneration occurring in the bone.

The doctor recommended that I take some medication to help ease the pain and allow me to sleep. Those of you who know me will not be surprised to hear that I made implementing his recommendation difficult. I am not a huge fan of pain medication, as I feel it is a sign of weakness. Joe, however, was concerned that the pain will keep me from sleeping at night, a concern echoed by the ER physician. So, after some discussion, I reluctantly agreed to the hospital's administration of some Norco and Zofran.

There's always a silver lining to these situations, though. Did you know that the Zofran they provide at the hospital tastes like strawberry banana? It was so delicious. A couple months ago we brought Evan to the ER for vomiting and diarrhea, and they gave him delicious tasting Zofran then, as well. I suppose if you're going to take medication that enables you to eat, it might as well taste good, right?

*  *  *  *

On the positive front, I had a follow up with my fertility physician. She said that out of the 8 embryos that were genetically tested, 4 of them were good. As a person who grew up in an environment where 90% was 10% too low, my first reaction was, "Only four?" But the doctor reassured me that she was very pleased with the result; four was, apparently, quite a lot and a great number to work with. Given my positive fertility record prior to chemotherapy, she would start off by implanting only one at a time in order to avoid risking twins.

This is with just one!

 Pleased, I walked out of the office and it wasn't until later on that I realized I hadn't asked her about the the gender of the embryos! This, after weeks of discussion regarding whether it was preferable to have a boy versus a girl as sibling to our wonderful little boy, Evan. I called the office, and was amused to hear that three of the four were boys, and one was a girl. It seemed almost guaranteed that without the fertility treatments we went through because of chemo, we would have likely had another son. Which am I going to implant? Who knows? But it is so wonderful to have a choice. Not a choice of gender, but a choice for more children. I am so grateful that science and medicine have made it possible for us to have the ability to have more children, even after chemotherapy.

As I write, the pain persists and I can feel its drain on my energy. I don't know how long the pain will last, but the next 5 days are going to be pretty tough. Neupogen is not to be trifled with -- it is the cause and brunt of all this pain. There are websites dedicated to the side effects and pain of the Neupogen.  At least I have my pints of ice cream, though. I have don't have much of an appetite for anything these days except for ice cream. Particularly butter pecan. And we all know that a pint a day will keep the pain at bay! That is how that phrase goes, isn't it?