The Bonfire of the Vanities

My hair is starting to fall out. I am actually surprised that it hasn't fallen out sooner. My theory is that the hormones from the fertility treatment gave me that luxurious pregnancy hair -- you know the thick, lovely hair that pregnant women have. And because of that, I think my hair hung on a bit longer than anticipated.

Long and luxurious hair... Asian style! 

I was trying to decide whether I'll take pictures of the head shearing. I wasn't sure I wanted to document such a horrible moment in my life. But I finally decided that I would -- whether I can bear to look at them or not, at least I will have them. I don't want to regret not having pictures. It will be traumatic and difficult for sure, but at least it will be documented. I'm hoping that I can cut and shave my head the day after Christmas, if my hair will hold on until then. It would be so depressing to have to do this before Christmas. But I will if I have to. There is nothing more disgusting than hair falling out all over the place. Just thinking about it now is enough to turn my stomach. Ugh.

Since Joe and I got married, I've been trying to create little traditions for our family. For me and my family, celebration is always marked by food and family. But my body is tired. It took a herculean effort, but I decided not to cook Christmas dinner and make it a very low key event this year. I'll just be doing breakfast. I have a recipe for cinnamon rolls and I bought enough potatoes, sausages, eggs, and bacon to last normal people for a lifetime. Which for us, means one meal. For Christmas dinner, I ordered a full blown meal that I will pick up the day before. I have never ordered a dinner like this so I hope it tastes good. Joe is used to really delicious Christmas dinners; Mom usually makes the most wonderful roast turkey dinner when we go to Missouri for Christmas. I guess we will have to wait until next year for that! That, and some of her delicious kibbe. I hope that he forgives me for my shortcut.

I am trying to keep up the daily calories. I do not have much of an appetite, but everyone is making sure that I have plenty of delicious food to entice me. My MOMS Club set up a meal program that puts to shame any other meal program in all of history. One meal a week for 6 months of chemo. It is amazing what a group of women can accomplish -- six months of meals! I have only lost about 3 pounds so far, so the meal plan is working. My mother's friends are cooking up a Korean food storm, and putting in mass for me every day. They even have a 24 hour prayer schedule, so at any given moment in the day someone is praying for me and my family. My parents have been incredible supporters of the church, and in times of crisis, I feel so blessed so see that support reflected back with so much love.

Such great food. Such great friends. Such a great family. So much for the chemotherapy diet plan, I guess.